Once, not too long ago, vampires existed in fairy tales. They were nocturnal parasites preying on distressed damsels who really deep down just wanted to be loved. They turned into bats, avoided crucifixes and burst into flames when touched by the rays of the sun. Then, “Twilight” and “True Blood,” which are essentially PG and R versions of each other (at least in the beginning), gave us a Mormon bloodsucker and the vampire-love-heroine that is Anna Paquin, respectively. Sure, there were vampire stories before these (who could forget Nosferatu?), but these are the tales that transitioned us into what I unpleasantly call the Era of the Vampire, when you can’t go three months without another story about another fanged something eating people.
“Fright Night” is a drop in the bucket that is this era – a fun, hefty drop. It’s a remake of the 1985 version with the same name and essentially the same plot, but with the visual effects buffed up 2011-style. It doesn’t invent any new bloodsucker lore, but instead ops for showing off why old-school vamps still have it going on. And I loved it. I don’t want to watch a band of sparkly vegetarian vampires. I want a fanged menace to make fun of them and then rip a neighborhood to shreds.
The vamps in “Fright Night” are not the brooding, misunderstood, just-trying-to-blend-in variety. Colin Farrell drives a giant black pick up and hits on anything within fifty yards even though no woman I’ve ever met would date a guy with fingernails as long and dirty as his are, no matter how hot he is. And I should admit, not without a bit of awe, that I think Colin Farrell may be the best vampire ever. He’s dripping sex and has a coy, predatory smile – and that’s before the prosthetic fangs go in. He has the gravelly voice and strut of something that’s been doing women since time immemorial. There are few men who can successfully pull that persona off, but he does so with flying colors – as long as those colors are blood. But I guess I could say I was smitten with this vamp version when Farrell’s character silently critiques “Twilight” by rolling an apple off the kitchen table and gnawing on it, a twinkle in his eye. No wholesome “virginity protecting” here, folks.
And since you’ve probably seen the trailers for this movie, no, it isn’t entirely about Farrell’s vampire. The actual story follows a nerd-turned-Casanova (Anton Yelchin) who discovers that his neighbor is a bloodsucker when all of the friends he gave up for his girlfriend start disappearing. David Tennant, who has played BBC’s Doctor Who for the past six years, shows up as a boozy Vegas stage magician a la Criss Angel, complete with appliqué tattoos, goatee and eyebrow ring. Imogen Poots, who you might recognize if you saw “28 Weeks Later,” plays the hot girlfriend who is really, really willing to have sex with Yelchin’s character but will have to wait, damn it, because there’s a vampire next door. And Toni Collette is rather wasted as Yelchin’s oblivious mom. But the best secondary character is Christopher Mintz-Plasse, who played McLovin in “Superbad.” His high-pitched geekiness is a great addition to the story line; though, I can’t tell you too much about him or I’ll spoil a lot of the third act.
Aside from some really mediocre dialog, this is a great undead flick to watch with friends. And although the 3D version does give you a close-and-personal view of stakes to the heart, ashes, blood, etc, you could save yourself the three bucks and just watch “Fright Night” in 2D.
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